From the latest gadgets to the hottest lingerie, these must-have items are guaranteed to spice up your sex life.
If the phrase “sex toys” makes you blush, you’re not alone. The sex toy world can be very intimidating to women who’ve yet to explore its many options. Not only is there a huge assortment of items to choose from, but some pieces just look downright scary. Wait, you want me to put that where? No way!
Of course, the main purpose for most of these naughty items is to help a woman experience maximum pleasure, and we’re all for that. But if that’s all you think they’re good for, think again. “My philosophy is that sex toys and accessories are like lip gloss – you don't need them, but they certainly make you feel happier, sexier and more feminine,” says Dana B. Myers, founder of Booty Parlor Inc., a sexy online boutique with fans like Angelina Jolie, Carmen Electra, and Jennifer Love Hewitt.
According to New York-based sex therapist, Dr. Joy Davidson, there are plenty of reasons why sexy toys and accessories can be a smart investment for all sexually active women:
• “When you buy items that are designed for no other purpose than to give sexual pleasure,” says Dr. Joy, “you’re making a statement to yourself that says, ‘I’m sexy, I’m desirable, and I’m not a passive participant in sex. In fact, my partner is not the only source of my pleasure – I am, too.’”
• “When you learn how to pleasure yourself and what type of stimulation works for you, you can pass that information on to your partner and teach him what works. It’s silly to expect someone else to get you off if you can’t do it yourself.”
• “Nowhere is it written that sex is supposed to be dull, boring and simple. And nowhere does it say you can only use what’s attached to your body to give and receive pleasure. Sex is just another aspect of life where we can accessorize!”
• “There are toys being made today that can affect you in a way that no human being can. Their capacity for speed, intensity and consistency of motion are things that a human simply cannot replicate. You’re doing yourself a disservice by not trying these toys and experiencing the pleasure they can bring.”
Convinced? We are! So now it’s on to the next step – navigating the sex toy world. Whether you’re a first-timer or an experienced sex-toy vet, here, according to our experts, are the six items every woman should have in her toy chest:
1. The classic vibrator
It’s basic, yes, but oh-so-necessary. You can go for “The Rabbit,” the friendly vibrator made famous by the Sex and the City gals, or try something different. Dr. Joy suggests getting one that’s adjustable in speed and intensity, makes little noise and focuses primarily on clitoral stimulation. Dana B. Myers recommends The Champ ($36). “It has a silent pitter-patter thump that will deliver a total knockout orgasm,” she says.
2. A couple’s vibrator
“For women who are not usually orgasmic during intercourse, using a little vibrator during penetration can turn the tide on that,” says Dr. Joy. When you're with your partner, it's best to use a smaller gadget that you can press against yourself and doesn’t get in the way. Myers says her best-selling couple’s vibe is the Aurora ($68). With 16 different ways to please, the Aurora “gives the additional C-spot pleasure a woman needs to help reach orgasm,” says Myers. “And, your partner will enjoy the vibrating sensations, which will enhance his pleasure, too.”
3. A G-spot wand
If you don’t like to vibe, or if you just want to switch it up, Dr. Joy suggests a G-spot wand, like the NJOY Pure Wand ($108). Made of 316-grade stainless steel (the same material used in hip replacements!), this eco-friendly wand, and others like it, make penetration more substantial thanks to their curved design. “You can warm them up or cool them down,” says Dr. Joy. “They’re outstanding.”
4. Crotchless panties
As women, we’re fully aware of the power of sexy lingerie. Myers suggests taking your collection to a whole other level with crotchless panties, like the Naughty Ballerina Crotchless Bikini ($26). “The peek-a-boo element of this seductive bikini makes for very exciting possibilities,” says Myers.
5. Arousal boosters
Whether solo or with a partner, we all need a little help sometimes. Other times, well maybe we just want to kick things up a notch. The good news is that suddenly, there are plenty of products on the market designed to enhance a woman’s pleasure – including several that are natural and/or hormone-free. One that caught our eye: Zestra (box of 12 packets, $49.95), which was specifically developed to “improve arousal, desire and satisfaction” for women. Applied topically, this blend of essential oils and extracts claims to increase sensitivity in minutes – and the effects can last for up to 45 minutes.
6. A pair of “hooker heels”
Sure, they’re not “toys,” but a pair of ultra-sexy high heels can do wonders. “These shouldn’t be the designer heels you wear outside,” says Dr. Joy. “What I'm talking about are slutty shoes you wouldn’t wear anywhere else because they’re so over-the-top sexy. They can put you in the mood when you’re alone, or they can help you anticipate a hot night with your guy. And, of course, men love super-sexy heels.” Looking for just the right thing? Opt for something in classic clear lucite, like these Juliet G Stiletto Heel Platform ($51.99).
Tell us: What’s your favorite sex toy?
Faye Brennan is assistant editor at BettyConfidential.